LabyrinthX
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Name: Nick
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: San Angelo
Birthday: 2/1/1980
Gender: Male


Interests: Watching movies, tv, playing video games, computer games, sleeping, eating, and other various things. But if you would have gotten to know me first, then I wouldn't have to post all this stuff. Oh well. Heh.
Expertise: Computer troubleshooting, building, modification, publication design. I work on staff at my church as the Media Director.
Occupation: Media Director at Christian Fa
Industry: Nonprofit


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: DragonBallZX


Member Since: 9/10/2002

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

This made me laugh SO HARD! *CAUTION* This is crude, but hilarious.

Survival Guide and Bathroom Etiquette for Taking a Dump at Work.
Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car & speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee): When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine guns pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is dang proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out OF THE CLOSET POOPER before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN): This is a group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: A pooper who does not realize that you're in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. TURD BURGLARS have known to cause premature pinchage, which inevitably causes you to pinch one off in the middle.

CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE: This is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert all potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the pooper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.


Saturday, January 19, 2008

New York City 2007

Hey, it hasn't been 6 months, go me.  =OP    This is an extremely long blog.  It's mostly for me to look back on to remember what I did, so read however much you want.

So I took my annual trip to New York City.  It was flippin' fantastic as always.  If you haven't looked yet, I posted a ton of pictures from my trip in my myspace pics section, so go check them out if you haven't already... and comment them please.  http://www.myspace.com/labyrinthx

I got to NYC on Dec. 19th.  I got to my hostel and set up camp.  That evening, the first thing I did was go to Planet Hollywood and have their L.A. Lasagna.  I've been wanting that for soooo long, and that's the only place you can get it.  It's like almost $19 bucks, but I mean... It's New York City, and Planet Hollywood is expensive anyway.  It was sooo worth it though.  Afterwards I went to Toys-R-US, and then to Rockafeller Center to see the Christmas Tree, and the $1,000,000+ in pennies. 

The next day I went to Macy's.  I'd never been to Macy's before, and I'd always wanted to go inside to see how it was.  It's HUGE.  like 9 floors I think.  And Macy's takes up nearly the entire block.  WOW.  I spent a good part of the day in there.  After that I went to the top of the Empire State Building.  It was soooo cold, but not as cold as the first time I went up there 4 years ago.  That evening I went to Ruby Tuesdays and ate.

Well the next day I was meeting my parents, so I headed to Penn Station to drop off my luggage so I didn't have to carry it with me all day long.  I met up with my parents, and then we went to eat at a place called Eatery.  It was featured on one of Rachael Ray's shows.  We had some humus for appetizer, and their Mac and Jack for lunch.  It was sooo good.  From there we walked to Central park and then over to FAO Schwartz toy store.  I usually go there after the new year, but this time I went before Christmas, and it was extremely packed.  It was so crazy.  After our adventure there, we took the subway to Times Square to be on the webcam, so people could see us back in Texas.  Then it was off to Rockafeller Center to see the tree and the pennies and St. Patrick's Cathedral.  Then it was time to head to Penn station to take the train back to New Jersey, then a few hours drive to Montrose, PA. 

I stayed in Montrose for most of my trip.  We had an awesome Christmas and New Years.  While I was there, I made my homemade Mac and Cheese for Christmas, my homemade chocolate chip cookies, and my homemade lasagna.  Every one of them were extremely good, even if I did make them.  One night we decided to go to Scranton, PA to have some really awesome pizza.  We left, and it was snowing, but not too bad.  We got there and ate, and then decided to go see some Christmas lights that some dude has.  He animates them to a bunch of different songs.  I recorded most of it.  When I get a chance I'll post them on Youtube.  So anyway, after that we drove back home... and oh man... it was snowing like crazy.  The roads were extremely icy, and most of the way home we were driving about 20 mph.  Now it's a 45 min. drive from Montrose to Scranton.  Going back, it took us about 3 and a half hours or so.  As we were driving back, my dad starts saying "Hold on"  And all the sudden the car spins out, almost doing a 360 spin on the road, and we end up in a snow bank.  Fortunately we hit an open area of snow, cuz on the right side of the road is the side of the mountain that drops off, then on the left side, where we hit the snow bank, we happened to hit the only open patch of snow, cuz on both sides of the snow bank was just rocks.  So after getting out and assessing the situation, I suggested that we should just try to push the car out.  So I cleaned out the snow from behind the tires, my dad put the car in reverse, and me and my mom pushed the front of the car.  Low and behold, we got it out.  WOOHOO!  Otherwise I would have had to walk back down the road to some big truck place out in the middle of nowhere, and asked somebody to help pull us out.  So praise God we were all safe.

Now I LOVE going to NYC every year, but the thing I look forward to the most is just spending Christmas with my family.  Even on the days when they're at work, and I'm at the house by myself, it's still so awesome.

I got my mom a little kitten for Christmas.  He was about 3 - 6 months old.  I got him from the humane shelter in town.  My mom absolutely loved him.  It made her cry a little bit.  I'm glad I could make my mom so happy.  So the cat's name is Fred... yes, Fred.  I actually like the name for a cat, cuz you don't hear of many cats named Fred.  But boy does that cat have a seriously stinky butt.  He farts all the time, and it'll clear out the room.  It's horrendous.

So January 2nd comes up, and it's time to go back to NYC.  When we get there, I check my bags again, so I don't have to carry them with me, then we head to Chipotle's for lunch.  Then it's off to Belvedere Castle in Central Park.  I have some cool pics of us there on my myspace.  From there I checked in to my hostel, then we went to Chelsea Market, which is the building that the Food Network is in.  On the bottom floor they have a bunch of shops, bakeries, fish markets, all kinds of stuff.  We snacked on some fresh baked bread, and cookies.  Then it was time for my parents to leave back to Montrose, so we went back to Penn station, and I saw them off as their train left.  That's always the worst part of the trip.  But I know that I'll see them again in 1 year.  Unless them come down to visit my sister and I. Which would be so flippin' awesome.

After they left, I went back to my hostel with my luggage.  I decided to go see a movie, so I went to Times Square, to the AMC Empire 25, and saw National Treasure: Book of Secrets.  That was an awesome movie.  After that I ate at McDonalds, and then it was off to the hostel to go to bed.

The next day I set out a little late, but still made it.  I went to the Museum of Natural History.  It's not a lot of hands on stuff, but it was still pretty decent.  It's extremely big, so it's easy to get lost, especially if they block off a huge section for a special event, and you have to figure out another way to get to where you're going.

After that I went to Times Square and ate at TGI Fridays.  It was way expensive.  Just a hamburger was almost 20 bucks.  I then went to see another movie.  I saw AVP2.  It was good, but not as good as the first AVP was.

The next day I decided to take a stroll through Central Park to see the ravine and waterfalls they have.  It's in upper central park, so I haven't really been to that part of the park before.  It was really cool with frozen water here and there, and the little waterfalls and stuff.  Oh, and by the way.  For the last 4 days I was in NYC, the temperatue was in the teens.  With an extremely cold wind chill, making it feel like 0 degrees.  Ok, back to my day.  After Central Park I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  That was my first time being there.  It was cool, but not as awesome as I'd hoped.  I enjoy a lot of hands on stuff, and these museums are mostly just walking and looking and pointing.  But it had a really awesome Egyptian exhibit, with real Egyptian ruins in a HUGE room. and a cool Knights armor exhibit. After that, I went to Dylan's Candy Bar.  A huge candy store.  Then it was across the street to Patsy's Pizzeria.  That's suppose to be some of the best pizza in NYC, and it was definitely up there on some of the best pizza I've ever had.  After that, it was back to Times Square to see Alvin and the Chipmunks at the Regal Cinema across the street from the AMC.  Then it was back to the hostel to pack and get ready to leave the next day.

So the next day I got on my plane, had a 2 hour 45 min. layover in Houston, then it was back into San Angelo at around 8:30 p.m. 

So that was my trip.  I plan to do it every single year, until I move to NYC one day, then I'll be able to visit my family more frequently.  But wherever God takes me, that's where I'll be.

If you read this far, then you're a champion, and I commend you.  Thanks for taking the time to read about my trip.

Later,
-Nick
Currently Listening
Misery Business
By Paramore
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Monday, November 26, 2007

I'm back, and hope to stay back!

It's been nearly six months since I've posted anything.  That's the longest time ever.  I don't really know why I haven't, I don't think it's laziness or anything.  Who knows.

Well my thanksgiving was awesome.  I of course made my homemade Mac and Cheese, and Green Bean Casserole, my two favorite dishes.  Mmm Mmm GOOD!  Sheena, Paul, and I went to Paul's parents house and had all the turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce (excuse me while I wipe the drool).  So good.  Although this year the rest of Paul's family wasn't there.  There's usually like 20 or so people, but this year there was only the immediate family, about 7 people.  But it was still awesome.  Thanksgiving evening I went out with a chainsaw and cut some wood so we could make a fire... which we did.  A few of us sat around it roasting marshmallows and eating smores (drool again).  The weather was fantastic this year.  Nice and cold.  Thanksgiving was in the 40's down to the 30's. 

Once again, the day after Thanksgiving, I got the chainsaw and cut even more wood, and we gathered 'round the fire once again for marshmallows and smores.  Man I love Thanksgiving.  Oh yeah, and GO COWBOYS!! For kicking the Jets butt, and setting their 10-1 record.  I don't really get into sports or football much, but I do end up watching about 2 games a year.  Thanksgiving Cowboys game, and Super Bowl. 

Yesterday, it snowed.  Nothing stuck, but it was our first snow of the season, and for San Angelo, having snow this early in the season is a very rare site.  Some years we're lucky if it even snows at all.

Well, my New York City / Pennsylvania trip is coming up on Dec. 19th.  I'll leave that Wednesday, and come back January 5th.  I'm actually planning on staying in NYC for a couple days when I first get there, and then a couple days at the end of my trip.  Just because I want to be with my parents for both Christmas and New Years, and since New Years is a little later in the week this year, I won't have as much time to spend in NYC at the end of my trip as I usually do.  Now It's just a matter of booking a place to stay while I'm there. 

I've been taking a bunch of cool pictures lately, so If anybody is interested, I've posted all my photography on my Flickr site. www.flickr.com/photos/labyrinthx .  When you go there, you can click on the picture to see a slightly larger version of the pic, but then there's a tiny button above the picture that says "all sizes", click on that and you'll see the full size version of the pic if you want.  Please leave comments on the pics if you like them, or some constructive criticism.

I could probably go on, but I don't want this blog to go on forever.  I'm going to try to start doing this more often.  I'd really like to do my own video blog, I'm still debating with myself about it.  So leave comments and stuff.  I'll catch ya later.

-Nick

Currently Gaming
Overlord
By Warner Bros
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

This title has nothing to do with the content.

It's been an insanely long time since the last time I posted.  Nearly two and a half months.  That's the longest ever.  I don't know why, I guess  I just wasn't in the mood.  It's been so long,  I don't even know what to talk about. Apparently I've been pretty stinkin' boring the last 2 months.  I go to work during the week, and hang out on weekends.  I usually see a movie Friday mornings, and that's generally it.

I got a new lens for my camera.  It's pretty cool, it's weird though, cuz the zoom ring works opposite of how most lenses work.  Most lenses you spin the ring to the left to zoom in, but on this one, you spin it right.  It took a while to get used to.  Here's a link to the lens I bought if anybody is interested.  Sigma 70-300mm F4-5.6 DG Macro.

I've added a few games to my Wii Collection.  So far I have Zelda, Red Steel, SSX Blur, and Spiderman 3.

This month has been super tight on money for me.  I went to get an eye exam, and normally they aren't that expensive, but when you get the exam for contacts, it nearly doubles the price.  So that set me back quite a bit for the month.  I did however get a free pair of contacts for working on their computer.  So that's a plus.

I haven't bought a dvd in a month or 2, and for those who know me, they know that's ridiculous for me.  Hopefully in June I'll be back on track, and I can start saving money for my New York trip this year.  OH YEAH!  If I can stick to my savings plan this year, I'll have ample money to be able to eat big, and buy nice gifts.  I can't wait.  I constantly think about going again this year, at least a few times everyday. 

Oh it's also been raining a lot more this year, so that means ROCKETS!  Yes, rockets.  Come the 4th of July, if the rain keeps going like it has, then there won't be a burn ban this year, and rockets will be in ample supply.  Fun fun fun. 

This month, me and the pastor FINALLY decided on a church camera.  And we got it this past Friday.  After a couple years of trying to decide, and saving money, we ended up getting the Canon HD XH-A1.  But as a result of our new HD camcorder, we also have to upgrade my editing software and Mac OS.  Cuz it won't let me put the video onto the computer, cuz it doesn't currently recognize the HD signal as video.

Another thing I've done in these past couple months, was my sister wanted to have a girls day out, but her friend ended up not being able to go, so Paul and I went out with her instead.  She wanted to take pictures of her and her friend, but instead I took pics of her and Paul.  There ended up being a few really good ones, if I do say so myself.  If you haven't seen them, my sister has a few of the pics I took on her myspace.  Sheena Smart's Myspace

So Spiderman 3 was awesome, Shrek was pretty good, I absolutely can't wait to see Transformers, Pirates of the Carribbean, Fantastic 4, The Bourne Ultimatum, Oceans 13, Rush Hour 3, Evan Almighty, and even Ratatouille looks pretty funny.  The movie Disturbia was suprisingly good also.  I wasn't sure exactly what to expect from that movie, but wow.   Shia LeBouf is crazy talented.  Watch the movie "The Greatest Game Ever Played".  You'll see what I mean.

I guess I could sit here and ponder like crazy what I could write about next, but I'll leave you with some pictures I ran across that I took about 3 or 4 months ago.  It was super foggy that morning, and the trees looked awesome.











Well I guess I'm leaving now.  Let's not make it another 2 months before I do this again.  I mean what fun is it when I'm older, and I go to look back on my life about what I did when I was younger, and I have huge gaps.  What'll I do then?  =OP    Oh well.

Later everyone,

-Nick
Currently Gaming
Spider-Man 3
By Activision
see related


Monday, March 12, 2007

Once again it's been super long forever since I last updated.  I think it's the fact that I update with a lot of pics and stuff, so that's why I don't do it as often.  If it was just typing what I've been doing, then I'd probably do it more often.  It just takes a little while to get all the pics ready. 

I've definitely done a ton of stuff since the last time I updated.  I moved out of my apartment and I'm living with my sister and brother in law.  I couldn't find a new roommate in the 2 bedroom apartment I was in, so I had to move out.  I could get a 1 bedroom, but I want to save money, and I couldn't be able to do that very well living in an apartment by myself.  I'm nearly done unpacking.  Just some small odds and ends to finish up.

The youth recently had a lock-in thingy a few weeks ago.  That was super fun.  I brought my Nintendo Wii, and everybody loved it.  Oh yeah... I bought a Nintendo Wii. They've been sold out here in town since they came out, so I had to drive out to Ballinger to get one.  That's about 30-some miles away.

I also got myself a pretty much brand new computer. AMD Dual-Core 3800+ processor.  ECS X2 Motherboard, 1 GB DDR2-800 RAM,  GeForce 7600GS 256MB GDDR2 PCI Express x16 Video Card.  YAY!!  It's supa-fast.

Back in January I went with the youth group to San Antonio.  We got there, and went to The Magic Time Machine.  Cat Woman was our waitress.  It was some crazy fun.  Catwoman is yelling at everybody, and tying people up... yanking them out of their seats.  Forest Gump is climbing through booths and windows behind the booths.  It was so fun.  After that we went to the new Palladium IMAX theater and saw Night at the Museum.  After that, the hotel.  The next day we went to The Buckhorn Museum where we also had lunch.  A couple hours later we walked to the Rivercenter Mall, where we shopped and shopped and... well.  I mostly looked around.  Everybody else shopped.  I however did buy a pen that shocks you when you use it.  WOOHOO!  Then for dinner we all got to eat on a riverboat while they took us around the river on a tour.  It was cold, but really fun.  Awesome fajita's and salsa. MmmMmm.  After that we went to some "light show" thingy, which wasn't at all what we expected it to be.  So that kinda sucked.  Following that it was off to starbucks, and then the trip back home.  All in all it was totally awesome.

So that's that.  Here are a few pics that I took while in Pennsylvania.







































There ya go.  Just a few of my PENN pics.  

FACT OR CRAP?

Question:
Fact or Crap?  The Mona Lisa has now eyebrows.

Answer:
Fact.  She also has no eyelashes, adding to the mystery surrounding Leonardo da Vinci's most famous painted portrait.  Why doesn't she?  These questions have stumped scholars and art historians since the work was painted in the early 1500s.

So that's it for me.  Hopefully I'll update a little quicker than I did last time.

Later,
-Nick



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